The Power of Silence: Zohar 1:2A

Rabbi Elazar said: My silence assembled a Temple above and a Temple below... By holding my silence two worlds were created, erected as one.

Good (Wet) Dreams: Yoma 88a

The tractate of the Talmud dealing with Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year, ends with of all things a discussion of the significance of having a nocturnal emission on Yom Kippur.

A Tanna taught in front of Rav Nachman: One who has a nocturnal emission onYom Kippur has all of their sins forgiven.  But was it not taught, 'One who has a nocturnal emission on Yom Kippur - their sins are arranged in order?'  [Which makes it sound like a bad thing.]  We can read it as, 'Their sins are arranged in order to be ready for forgiveness.'

It was taught in the study house of Rabbi Ishmael: One who has a nocturnal emission on Yom Kippur should worry the entire following year, and if they survive the year, they can be sure of a place in Heaven.  Rave Nachman bar Yitzcak said, 'Know that even if the entire world is going hungry, [one who has a nocturnal emission on Yom Kippur and survives a year] will feel satiated.  When Rav Dimi came from Israel to Babylon, he taught that [one who has a nocturnal emission on Yom Kippur and survives a year] will reproduce and reproduce [meaning he will have many children and grandchildren.]

I have to say it was a good day: Avodah Zarah 3b

I love this Midrash.

Rav Yehuda said in the name of Rav: There are twelve hours in a day.  During the first three, The Holy One Praised be G-d sits and learns Torah.  During the second group of three hours, G-d sits in judgement of the world.  When G-d realizes that the world is worthy of destruction, G-d moves from His Throne of Judgement to His Throne of Mercy. During the third group of three hours, G-d provides food for all creates from the mighty Re'emin to the lowly lice.  During the last set of three hours, G-d sits and plays with Leviathan, as it is written (Psalms 104:26) "You created this Leviathan to play with." ... Rav Acha said to Rav Nachman bar Yitzchak, 'Since the day the Temple was destroyed, G-d no longer plays... What does G-d do instead during the last part of the day?  He sits and teaches Torah to little children in the kindergarten.

Wash Your Face: Yoma 83b

This is an odd pair of stories.  I'm not sure what to make of it, but felt impelled to share it.

Rabbi Meir, Rabbi Yehuda, and Rabbi Yossi were traveling.  Rabbi Meir would carefully examine people's names, while Rabbi Yehuda and Rabbi Yossi did not.  When they came to a certain place they sought temporary lodging.  An innkeeper gave it to them.

Rabbi Meir asked the innkeeper, 'What's your name?'  The innkeeper replied 'Kidor.'  Rabbi Meir said to himself, 'I can conclude from this man's name that he is wicked, for his name recalls the verse (Ecclesiates 32:20) "For a generation [in Hebrew: Ki dor] of upheaval are they." '

Rabbi Yehuda and Rabbi Yossi stored their wallets with the innkeeper [during the sabbath, when it is forbidden to touch or carry money.]  Rabbi Meir did not store his wallet with the innkeeper, but rather hid it in the grave of the innkeeper's father.   The innkeeper's father appeared to the innkeeper in a dream, saying 'Come and take the wallet that this man left on my head!'

The innkeeper told the three rabbis the next day about his dream.  Rabbi Meir said to the innkeeper, 'Dreams on the sabbath mean nothing!'  Rabbi Meir then went and guarded his wallet all day and then brought it back at night.

The next day, Rabbi Yehuda and Rabbi Yossi asked the innkeeper for their wallets back.  The innkeeper said, 'I have no idea what you are talking about [denying he was given their wallets.]'  Rabbi Meir asked Rabbis Yehuda and Yossi, 'Why didn't you carefully examine the innkeeper's name?'  The two rabbis responded to Rabbi Meir, 'Why didn't you tell us that the man was wicked?'  Rabbi Meir replied, 'I thought he might be wicked, but putting such a label on a man out loud is another matter!'

The rabbis grabbed the innkeeper and brought him to a store [to question him about their wallets.]  The rabbis noticed lentils in the innkeeper's beard, and used this as a sign to retrieve their wallets [from the man's wife.  That is, they told her, 'Your husband said to give us our wallets back.  As proof, he told us to tell you how you served him lentils tonight.']  The rabbis went on their way, and the innkeeper killed his wife [in anger at her for giving back the wallets.]

[Rashi relates another related story on the page:  Another Jewish innkeeper used to observe if his guests would perform the traditional hand washing before eating.  If a guest did, that innkeeper would feed them kosher food.  Otherwise, he would feed them non-kosher food.

From these two stories comes the saying:  '[Ignoring the traditional hand washing with] water before the meal] leads one to eat pork.  [Ignoring the traditional washing of one's fingers and beard with] water after the meal is murder.'

Sight and Satisfaction: Yoma 74b

[Deuteronomy 8:9 states that G-d is] ... The one who fed you manna in the desert in order to afflict you. [What was this affliction?] Rabbi Ami and Rabbi Assi offer different answers to the meaning of this 'affliction.' One says, 'A person who has bread in his basket is not like one who doesn't have bread in his basket' [This means, as only a single day's supply of manna would come down from Heaven most days and it could not be stored, Israel had constant anxiety as to whether they would receive their food the next day or not.] The other Rabbi's opinion is that one who sees their food and eats is not like one who doesn't see their food and eats. [The manna could taste like any food, but always looked like manna. Thus, the affliction was that the Israelites were denied the pleasure of seeing familiar foods.]

Rav Yosef says, from the idea that seeing food is an important part of satisfaction, we find a hint of the fact that blind people eat, but are never truly satisfied. Abbaye states that we can infer that if you have a formal meal, you should eat it during the day time [so that you may see it properly.]

Rabbi Zeira says, 'Why does Ecclesiastes 6:9 mean when it states "Looking with one's eyes is better than satisfaction of desire?" Resh Lakish says it means, 'The sight of a woman is better than the sexual deed itself.'

Inside and Outside: Yoma 72b

Exodus 25:11: "You shall cover [the Holy Ark with gold] on both the inside and the outside." This teaches that any sage who is not the same on the inside as they are on the outside is not a true sage.

Killing Desire: Yoma 69b

This is a justifiably famous story. Some of the fine details make it even stranger than the shorter versions I've heard.

Rav, and some say Rabbi Yochanan, said: 'Woe, woe! It [Rashi: the desire to commit idolatry] destroyed our Temple, caused the surrounding structures to be burnt, and led to the death of our righteous people and Israel's exile. After all of this, we still have the desire. Why do we have this desire? Only to obtain a reward for conquering it. We don't want it, or the reward for conquering it!"

A note fell from Heaven that had the word 'Truth' written on it.

(Rabbi Hannina says, we can learn from this note that Holy One, Praised be G-d's signature is 'Truth.' )

After fasting for three days and three nights, power over this desire was given to the Rabbis. At that moment, fire shaped like a lion left the Holy of Holies in the Temple. A prophet said to Israel, "That lion is the desire for idolatry..." When the Rabbis caught this desire, it's hair became loose and it screamed in a voice that could be heard 400 miles away.

The Rabbis said, 'What should we do? We are scared to hurt it lest Heaven have mercy on it [because of its cries.]" A prophet said, "Put the desire for idolatry in a lead container with a lead cap, for lead will block the noise."

...The Rabbis said, "Since this is a favorable time, let us plead for Divine mercy to rescue us from the desire for sexual sins." The Rabbis pleaded for Divine mercy, and were given authority over the desire for sexual sins. A prophet said, "If you destroy the desire for sexual sins, you will destroy the entire world [for reproduction will cease.] The Rabbis imprisoned the desire for sexual sins for three days. They sought out a freshly laid egg throughout all of the land of Israel, but could not find one. [This confirms what the prophet told them - that eliminating this desire would stop reproduction.]

The Rabbis said, "What should we do? If we destroy it, we will destroy the entire world?" They asked to destroy it half-way [Rashi: That a man should desire his wife but no other women.] However, Heaven does not give halves. They painted its eyes with mascara. [As a result of painting desire's eyes], people no longer had sexual desire for their immediate family.